i love this. it's hard and messy and sometimes i cry and am irrational and sometimes he drives me crazy... but i love laughing and talking and walking and sitting and thinking and dreaming and everything that comes. and i trust God and i'm scared sometimes... of so many different things. but it's ok! i get to see him everyday and we get to explore together and know each other and even though it's hard, i love it.

flowers and dressing up make me feel feminine. but so do children. and he does. and walking barefoot with a skirt on.

sometimes i walk barefoot through the sand in the volleyball courts on campus because i miss the beach.

i love the weekends. they end up being time to do nothing... and homework. i'm totally ok with that.

the leaves are changing. fall is coming. i love getting to be a part of so many different lives... my kids, in all their times of life... i love it. i love when claire sleeps on my shoulder and wakes up crying for only me and the other kids call me their second mom. i'm nowhere near ready to be a mom, but for this time, i treasure that.

i can't wait to live in a little apartment decorated with everything from everywhere... next to a bakery or a little market, and walk around, and buy my food fresh in the mornings, and have big windows, and read books, and survive on doing what i love to do... and live in a home full of love and laughter and open doors.

i love baby muzungu. my car. i'm so thankful that i have her to drive to golden every weekend and sit by the river... to stick my feet in the freezing water to snap myself out of it and realize that all i need is to pray. and i just love driving... with music and without.

"are you tired? worn out? burnt out on religion? come to me. get away with me and you'll recover your life. i'll show you how to take a real rest. walk with me and work with me - watch how i do it. learn the unforced rhythms of grace. i won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly". matthew 11:28-30.