jon foreman... on repeat.

Heavenly FatherYou always amaze meLet Your kingdom come in my worldAnd in my lifeGive me the food I needTo live through todayForgive me as I forgiveThe people that wrong meLead me far from temptationDeliver me from the evil oneI look out the windowThe birds are composingNot a note is out of tuneOr out of placeI walk to the meadowAnd stare at the flowersBetter dressed than any girlOn her wedding daySo why should I worry?Why do I freak out?God knows what I needYou know what I need!Your love isYour love isYour love is strongThe kingdom of the heavensIs now advancingInvade my heartInvade this broken townThe kingdom of the heavensIs buried treasureWould you sell yourselfTo buy the one you've foundTwo things you told meThat you are strongAnd you love meYes, you love meYour love isYour love isYour love is strongYour love isYour love isYour love is strongOur God in HeavenHallowed be Thy nameAbove all namesYour kingdom comeYour will be doneOn earth as it is in HeavenGive us, today, our daily breadForgive us weary sinnersKeep us far from our vicesAnd deliver us from these prisons

colorful colorado

i'm back in colorado. it's sunny and rainy, and i love it. i'm coming to terms with my fickle personality... desperately crave time alone, independence... i love it during the day. but then once the sun sets, my heart grows lonely and i miss my family. i'm thankful for the people in my life that during those times talk to me, let me just sit with them. somehow it's better to sit with someone, doing the same things that i would be doing alone.

i'm getting my vacation right now. three-ish days of no concrete plans... there are many things i could be doing, but nothing that is imminent.

i get up when i wake up, make fruity surprise oatmeal and a pot of coffee, and sit on my porch either reading, enjoying the silence and huge tree, or spying on campus.

laura and i found a farmer's market in golden that happens every saturday morning... new tradition! it's right by the river... and i can get my weekly strawberry fix :)

i also love free things.


...iwanttogobacktoafrica...

it's like a smalltown around here.

i love this.

i love strolling through farmer's market every thursday with friends and family, downing free samples of fruit and delicious treats, haggling for organic strawberries, and buying cheap flowers from isaac.

i love buying strawberries from gerardo at the side of the road on saturday afternoons. (because yes, i have already finished those six baskets of strawberries that i bought two days ago)

i love sitting at canyon coffee and watching everyone on the street greet each other.

i love anticipation. adventures. spontaneity. naps in the middle of the day. rethinking the thoughts that have been the norm for 21 years. thinking for myself.

i love discovering someone. continuing to discover him over three continents and many months. and that's just so far. i love exploring the world with him.

i love that this summer, my parents have been married for 25 years and my grandparents for 50. i have a lot to live up to.

i love that i got to go to africa. and no matter how hard it was, i still am so thankful for all that i experienced and learned. i want to go back, for longer.

i love that i've had the opportunity to travel already. that i've already experienced so much. i love that i'm already looking forward to the next one... but don't worry mom, i'll settle sometime. ...maybe...

i love reading books. books that i want to read, that aren't for class. but i love that most of the books i read for classes are interesting.

i love that i have one more year of college. wow, what's next?

i'm in california. i'm sorry it's been so long since i updated, but life is crazy. full of surprises and dreams and disappointments and excitement.

uganda was... well, i guess just ask me sometime. maybe i'll post pictures to describe it. sometimes it's too hard to use words.

life changes. ups and downs and all-arounds... i'm just glad i get to work with kids that occupy nine hours of my day.

don't worry, i'll post more soon.

hosanna.

heal my heart and make it clean
open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me

break my heart for what breaks Your's
everything i am for Your kingdom's cause
as i walk from earth into eternity...

we're up to veinte-uno in flashcards.

thanks to the best spring break road trip ever, i discovered derek webb. all his songs make me think, and remind me of the things that i have already thought.

i want to always live right around the corner from something big... and to be a part of it.

i'm realizing how many opportunities and blessings i really do have... i already have too many things that i could be a part of next year. what a change from last year! it's amazing to invest extensive time in someone, especially kids. i'll be working with the same kids that i've worked with the past two summers again this summer, and i'm finally excited about it. the brady's said that even though i could only work 10 hours next year, they still want me. i love those kids. i love knowing them, and sharing bits of my life with them. i hope that i can teach them something... as they teach me daily.

i draw crappy chalk stick figures, i run barefoot through flowers, i play with rolie-polies (pill bugs? potato bugs? i asked my brit lit teacher today... she didn't know either), i chase boys on scooters with a backpack full of procrastinated homework, i sing loud and proud with open windows to the high school musical 2 soundtrack, i play with barbies, my feet are always dirty, i tie soccer cleats, i stop and smell the flowers, i run through sprinklers... and i love it.

apparently i've had overseas experience. tammy asked me, today, to describe those experiences. i did, and i remembered that i love that i got lost alone in the middle of paris in the middle of the night... that i held my own for three months in spain... that i did it all. that all i had was God. when all that i could cling to was God, i clung desperately. and He was there. He was there the whole time... sometimes it's hard to see Him like that in this context... and sometimes i wish i could go back just to be reminded. and because i miss those places. He revealed Himself in such different ways in every place i've been, and...

i'm getting so antsy to leave for uganda. 20 days. it's been months away for, well, months, but now it's almost here. i'm ready. i can't wait to see how He reveals Himself there, too. to see what happens.

today.

yeah.
this reminds me of the future. is that possible?

i ate this for dinner on monday. they spilled across the counter and i thought of when daniel (7 years old) asked me what the peace symbol on my nalgene was. (today i taught daniel to count to ten in spanish, and we did his flashcards in spanish. and i realized how much of an impact i can have and have had on these kids. and that maybe i could teach them things that their parents can't.)

welcome to colorado in april. the trees are blooming, the robins are nesting, and it is snowing. oh, and i wear flip-flops in the snow now.

i forgot to wear sunscreen yesterday, and am now sunburnt. but it's snowing outside right now... i feel like after a few weeks of summer, i've fallen back into winter. good thing i still get excited about snow, like i did three years ago when i left california for that far off land somewhere north of lakewood.

i am inspired often. by books, by people, by the weather, by what we talk about in class... i love learning. i love being reminded of my potential.

in a few weeks, i'll be 21. and then comes uganda. i'm excited. i wish i could think of better words to use to describe what i'm feeling... it's a very full feeling. after almost a month in uganda (holding babies, playing with kids, blowing bubbles, reading books...), we get to spend a while in amsterdam. i was looking at hostels online earlier, and realized how much i do miss europe. it's part of my heart now. that happens to me, i guess. i wish i could live there again, but this time i would bring someone with me. and then the loneliness would not be there, and i could take europe in fully, and be fully myself. (i really do miss it a lot when i let myself)

music (paper bird at this very moment), coffee brewing noisily, a cup of good earth tea, snow falling softly outside, and a dark apartment.

it smells like a coffee shop in here, and i just realized that that may be one of my favorite smells.