Denver, part II.

I am now gainfully employed. In my first grown-up job! With benefits, 401k, and no end in sight. I am thrilled and so incredibly thankful. I get to fill my days with sweet children and their formerly homeless and/or addicted mothers, helping them learn self-sufficiency and good life skills, and how to love and raise their children well, and how to have healthy relationships, and everything. The Children's Coordinator at Champa House - That's me!

Denver.

I seriously love living in Denver. Why? So many things... I love the snow, and the sun that melts it away the next day. The random bars and coffee shops that crop up where you least expect them. The old, old buildings. It's Colorado - we wake up to the mountains every day!

Anyways, I never thought that I would find a place in the United States - or anywhere, for that matter - that I could see myself living in forever. Never leaving. Not that I want to do that, but if it were to happen... I think I would be okay.

A new job possibility is on the horizon as the end of my time at MOC looms. Most of me is dreading the leaving, the being away from it and them, but then there's a part of me... That knows there is something better. That realizes that I am capable of anything I set my mind to. That I'm not just passionate... I'm kinda talented (not really sure what at, yet), and I'm "part of the family".

And being married... It's great. I get to live and do life with my best friend. What could be better?

I can hardly believe that there are only three weeks left... It's crazy!

But yeah, life is great. I love my job - I even get to stay there longer than I originally thought! There might be a position opening up that I can apply for, as well. Our church is amazing - we've become part of the core team, and are in a new house church together! I'm in a girls' group as well, which is amazing... We're moving to a bigger building to accommodate for our growing community, and we even have kids in the children's ministry! I get to marry the most amazing man, and move into this adorable apartment (though it is kind of cold and smells like weed and cigarettes...)! I love Colorado, even when it's 0 degrees outside and I can't get warm... Our friends are here, my new family-in-law, my job, our church.... It's amazing.

Oh, love.

Alissa and Coop got married yesterday.... It was so beautiful. I feel so blessed to have been a part of the day, and to have seen their relationship develop.

And we're next!

Fall.

Ah yes, here it is again. Today is the last day of summer, but it snowed in the foothills. I'm ready for fall, for this new season of life to start...

Life is slower when it's cold out. Chai, coffee shops, scarves, sweaters... I just love it.

It also always reminds me of Spain. And where I've been and what I've seen and learned. It's good for me... Makes me feel peaceful.

All I've written about lately is my lack of a job.

But I have one now! I'm working (only temporarily, until mid-January/February) for Denver Rescue Mission as their Donor Database Assistant. I'm so thankful for this job... It will be great experience, and I think I'll really enjoy working there. I start on Thursday, so my extended vacation is finally over!

So many good things coming up... Jenny comes to visit for a few days, Alissa and Coop are getting married in two weeks (so amazing!), and then David and I follow three months after them.

Life is good. Thanks for all of your prayers!

I'm still job-less.

And really discouraged.

Life, again.

So I'm home again, where I love being. Even though there are so many people that I love and miss in California, Colorado is definitely my home now. I love being able to see the mountains... They ground me. I love the storms that roll in in the evenings... I love our little church, his new apartment, my garden-level apartment that is overrun with giant bugs (and is spacious and quiet and wonderful)... I love this new coffee shop that belongs in Europe... Yeah. This is good.

There was a wedding shower on Saturday, and it was great. I felt loved and blessed, and am so excited for more times like those.

I'm being productive and telling myself that I'm on an extended vacation. If I look at unemployment that way, and know that I won't run out of money before I can find a job, then I'll be okay. Hopefully I don't get used to this lazy lifestyle... But it's good for now.

Do I not have a college degree?

Do I not have skills?


Darn economic recession.

Jobs.

I'm searching, searching, searching... for a job. That will start mid-August. And pay me. And not kill me. And give me time off to get married (and go on a honeymoon). And that is in Denver.
I'm talking to a few families that need a nanny... I applied with Water For People (two open positions!), but they have hundreds of applicants. That makes me a little sick to my stomach!

Anyways, prayers would be appreciated. As would suggestions.

Family.

I love my family. The one that I have, and that one that I will have... It's good to belong. Being a part of such an amazing family teaches me... about life, love, everything. And I'm so lucky to get to be a part of this new family in 166 days, and to start my own little family then too.

I love that she accidentally already called me her daughter-in-law, and that my dad calls him just to chat and hear about his life, and that I get to have a sister, and just everything. It's good. I'm thankful.

I have a pile of books by my bed, the promise of a bike ride on vintage bikes, and a weekend looming.

What could be better?

The new apartment makes me antsy.

We signed the lease for our marriage apartment! David gets to live in it this fall... I'm jealous.

Just picture this. It smells old, the doors and windows stick, the floors are made of wood, it has doorknobs like the ones at my parents' house, the windows open in (instead of out or up!), and it has a reading nook. And it's not in Lakewood. It's in Wash Park, Denver! Oh, man, I can't wait to move in. It's perfect!

Being able to picture where we'll start our life together makes me even more antsy. Six months (from yesterday), and there are so many things I must do and think about before it comes... But I just can't wait!

I've become strangely afraid of things that never seemed to bother me before. It's weird. And it kind of inhibits me. So I need to get over it, or something... I don't really know what's wrong with me.

I need a job. I have one now, one that exhausts and frustrates me... The babies are adorable and cuddly and clumsy, but I'm ready to move on. I'm so thankful for it now, but it's hard to be in the moment when I know that I need to get another job in the next month. I also need to stop being so picky... No one finds their dream job right out of college (which I didn't), or even the fall after college. That's silly. It's also silly that I have no idea what my dream job is. I guess that's what this is, right now... Discovering myself, yet again. Gaining confidence (or not) in my abilities... I guess I should look at this as an adventure. It is kind of fun... I could do whatever I want! Except for this darn economy... Cool, parents, thanks for birthing me 22 years before a recession. I really appreciate it.

I'll just leave with you a picture of the view from our camping spot last weekend.

Tornados and working like an adult.

We've been having thunderstorms (and tornado watches!) every day here for the past few weeks. Welcome to life outside of California, I guess! This is the first summer that I have ever spent away from home, and it's good for me. I miss home, and Swim & Gym, and my friends, and family, and farmer's markets, and everything. But I love this place and these people, and I'm really content for once. I'm totally in transition, and just want to be married and move into the most amazing apartment ever (provided we actually get it!), but I'm thankful that I am where I am. These roommates are good, as are the friends that live a short bike ride away, and the fact that David is across the street is great too. And though my job isn't my favorite, it's a job and I'm learning a lot. Strangely enough.

I love the weekends, and garage sales and the farmer's market (that has one fruit stand. ONE!). And riding my bike, and smiling. And cuddling, and planning this big party that's happening in January (the 2nd, to be precise!). And hearing Spanish spoken all day, and learning how to raise a baby, and letting my pride fall by the wayside. And learning that it's okay to work just to work, and to be thankful that I have a job that pays above minimum wage.

And I bought David's computer (with my graduation money!), and it's beautiful. Hurray! I'm optimistic about life, and it's not even Friday yet!

And Samuel is coming in one week, and I'm so excited. We're going to have so many adventures!!

Dreams.

In all the craziness of finals, graduation, visits from people that I love, wedding planning, a new job, it seems that I've forgotten my dreams. I feel stuck in this place, in this job and time. And I'm not happy about that. But a visit from one of my dear old roommates yesterday rekindled in me some dreams.

So I will work on remembering who I am, why I am, and that I can work just to pay off my loans and save some money so we can GO.

Bought the dress today.

Is January 2 here yet?

Living.

I can't wait to be married.

On a slightly different note, I was asked today why David and I aren't living together. My coworker could hardly believe it. Clearly it's the best choice - you get to know each other before you get married (like, how he squeezes the toothpaste tube. It could be really annoying!), you have a roommate/cheaper rent, you don't make a huge mistake by marrying someone that you couldn't live with... e t c, e t c.

That makes me sad - that it's a normal thing. The thought never even crossed my mind. But my roommates (the two other engaged ones) have been getting the same questions lately. I'm glad we're not living together - it means I get to live with great friends for the time being! And I can't wait to be married, but that will come when it comes (seven months from tomorrow).

I'm reading a great book - but I don't remember what it's called right now. It's about Saddam Hussein's pilot's daughter. It's by her, and about her. So interesting. Thanks to my mom's amazing garage sale skills, that book is in my possession, along with a coffee table book by the same woman. Amazing.

We made a wedding website!!

http://www.davidelise.com

Will I ever find a job that I absolutely love all of the time? I guess that's not really realistic... But I still wish I could. Working with kids is super tiring. And maybe a 'real' full-time job would be better. But I get discouraged and think that I'll never actually get to do what I want to do. That's a silly thought, though, because I have absolutely no idea what I actually want to do!

I am so thankful that I have a job (for the summer), and my coworkers seem nice and the babies are adorable... And I am really glad that I'm living where I'm living, with the girls that I'm living with. It's good, and the apartment has a beautiful view that makes me feel like I'm flying when I sit in my living room. And David is still right across the street.

And it's summer!!! Which is wonderful.

So I am thankful and happy to be where I am. I just feel like I'm in such a transitional period (different job, home, roommates in two-ish months...), and that's hard sometimes.

I love this picture, and the woman who took it, and the man in it with me.

Time with family, David, Jenny, roommates (new and old!), and friends has been amazing. I'm almost actually ready to start working tomorrow...