Do I not have a college degree?

Do I not have skills?


Darn economic recession.

Jobs.

I'm searching, searching, searching... for a job. That will start mid-August. And pay me. And not kill me. And give me time off to get married (and go on a honeymoon). And that is in Denver.
I'm talking to a few families that need a nanny... I applied with Water For People (two open positions!), but they have hundreds of applicants. That makes me a little sick to my stomach!

Anyways, prayers would be appreciated. As would suggestions.

Family.

I love my family. The one that I have, and that one that I will have... It's good to belong. Being a part of such an amazing family teaches me... about life, love, everything. And I'm so lucky to get to be a part of this new family in 166 days, and to start my own little family then too.

I love that she accidentally already called me her daughter-in-law, and that my dad calls him just to chat and hear about his life, and that I get to have a sister, and just everything. It's good. I'm thankful.

I have a pile of books by my bed, the promise of a bike ride on vintage bikes, and a weekend looming.

What could be better?

The new apartment makes me antsy.

We signed the lease for our marriage apartment! David gets to live in it this fall... I'm jealous.

Just picture this. It smells old, the doors and windows stick, the floors are made of wood, it has doorknobs like the ones at my parents' house, the windows open in (instead of out or up!), and it has a reading nook. And it's not in Lakewood. It's in Wash Park, Denver! Oh, man, I can't wait to move in. It's perfect!

Being able to picture where we'll start our life together makes me even more antsy. Six months (from yesterday), and there are so many things I must do and think about before it comes... But I just can't wait!

I've become strangely afraid of things that never seemed to bother me before. It's weird. And it kind of inhibits me. So I need to get over it, or something... I don't really know what's wrong with me.

I need a job. I have one now, one that exhausts and frustrates me... The babies are adorable and cuddly and clumsy, but I'm ready to move on. I'm so thankful for it now, but it's hard to be in the moment when I know that I need to get another job in the next month. I also need to stop being so picky... No one finds their dream job right out of college (which I didn't), or even the fall after college. That's silly. It's also silly that I have no idea what my dream job is. I guess that's what this is, right now... Discovering myself, yet again. Gaining confidence (or not) in my abilities... I guess I should look at this as an adventure. It is kind of fun... I could do whatever I want! Except for this darn economy... Cool, parents, thanks for birthing me 22 years before a recession. I really appreciate it.

I'll just leave with you a picture of the view from our camping spot last weekend.